WHOREFAX™
Official Dating History Report
Report ID
WFX-2001-MRC
Certified Pre-Owned
Subject Profile
Madison Rae Caldwell
26 yrs · Park City, UT · Pediatric Nurse / Part-time Ski Instructor
“Adopts dogs from shelters. Texts back within 12 minutes. Has a 401(k) AND a Roth IRA. Owns a salad spinner that she actually uses.”
Title Status
CLEAN
Previous Owners
1
Red Flags
0
Compat. Score
96/100
Compat. Grade
Excellent
Owners
1
Drama Events
0
Red Flags
0
Ghosting Risk
4%
📋
Subject Specifications
VIN (Verified Identity Number)WFX2001MRC11203
Model Year (Born)1999
Trim / EditionPremium / Garage Kept
ExteriorOriginal Factory Glow
InteriorCream Cable-Knit
Fuel TypeOat Milk Latte (one pump vanilla)
TransmissionAutomatic (uses words like 'we' naturally)
Mileage12,407 emotional miles
WarrantyBumper-to-Bumper, transferable
Insurance TierPreferred Plus
ZodiacVirgo
Height5'8"
Love LanguageActs of Service
RegistrationActive. Updated regularly.
Inspection GradeA+
Ghosting Index4/100
👥
Previous Owners
Daniel Park
Jan 2018 – Present
Returned: N/A — still actively in possession
Condition: N/A
💥
Drama Reports
No drama incidents reported. Impeccable driving record.
🔧
Service History
| Date | Service Type | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-08-12 | Compatibility Inspection | Met parents at month 6. Passed with flying colors. |
| 2020-05-22 | Annual Anniversary Tune-Up | Surprise weekend in Asheville. Mileage logged: priceless. |
| 2023-09-01 | Cohabitation Transmission Upgrade | Successful merge of households. No conflicts reported. |
⚠
Red Flag Alerts
No red flag alerts on record. Proceed without caution.
⭐
Factory Options & Features
Adaptive ListeningMood Detection (3.0)Lifetime Loyalty PackageHands-Free Conflict Resolution
This report is 100% fictional. Generated purely for comedic parody and presented on 4/10/2026. Whorefax™ is not a real service and none of the data above refers to any real person.
Parody · Not Real